dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize