how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
