she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
