just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
