It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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