There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
