this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
