Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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