He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
