Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
