you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
