I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
