she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize