She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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