idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
