you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
