So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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