I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
