I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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