I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
