Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A+ Viking dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
