ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
