My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
