I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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