your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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