just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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