I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
