i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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