You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
