Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you had me at cake vodka
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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