Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
