So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize