So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
