you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
