i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Randomize
