hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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