uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
