Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
