i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
