A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize