I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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