is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
