i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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