Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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