Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
