He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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