Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
