Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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