I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize