i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize