you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
