Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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