it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
