well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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