I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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