Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
