it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize