Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
