You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
