Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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