Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
