Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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