i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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